There’s never enough time
It’s that boring lament. No one likes to hear it but we all want to say it.
My dad says that you have to make your own time–but usually I interpret that as not sleeping. And I hate that. I love sleeping. I love being well rested enough that I can wake up in the morning and smile instead of growl. Crazy that I want that when I’m a college student, right?
And as a college student there isn’t enough time to get to the gym and be strong, not enough time to sit down and draw, not enough time to write my stories the way I want to, not enough time to think.
And if I do sit down, there are a thousand voices all clamoring to tell me what I should be doing instead of what I am doing.
Anne Lamott in Bird by Bird tells me how to deal with that. (Oh my golly, I love her writing!)
“Close your eyes and get quiet for a minute, until the chatter starts up. Then isolate one of the voices and imagine the person speaking as a mouse. Pick it up by tht etail and drop it inot a mason jar. Then isolate another voice, pick it up and by the tail, drop it in the jar. And so on. Drop in any high-maintenance parental units, drop in any contractors, lawyers, colleagues, children, anyone who is whining in your head. Then put the lid on, and watch all these mouse people clawing at the glass, jabbering away, trying to make you feel like shit because you won’t do what they want—won’t give them more money, won’t be more successful, won’t see them more often. Then imagine that there is a volume-control button on the bottle. Turn it all the way up for a minutes, and listen to the stream of angry, neglected, guilt-mongering voices. Then turn in all the way down and watch the frantic mice lunge at tht glass, trying to get to you. Leave it down.
A writer friend of mine suggests opening the jar and shooting them all in the head. But I think he’s a little angry, and I’m sure nothing like this would ever occcur to you.”